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Band:Terminal Descent Album:Host Age To The Devil Record Company:Unsigned Writer: The Vish Media: Myspace Click Album Cover To Buy Now

I want to know RIGHT NOW who thought that Terminal Descent should get a record deal of any sort. Seriously. The guys at Vitriolic Records really dropped the ball by signing this band. Since I can't find anything on Vitriolic Records, I am going to assume that they are Terminal Descent's very own indie record company, since nobody in their right mind would sign this band. This is one of those mythical gems of steamy, runny, corn infested shit that I didn't think could possibly be created. I cannot begin to tell you how much I despise this album and everything about it. It inspires me to fart into a tape player microphone and see if I can get a record deal out of it, because I'm sure that my ass can write better music than this band.

Think of what would happen if some loser from Iowa with Downs Syndrome decided that they wanted to start a band that sounds like Morbid Angel, then you'd have a pretty good idea of what Terminal Descent sounds like. This is a one man death metal outfit that obviously hero worships early Morbid Angel, but has no idea how to write good music. I've listened to this album three or four times and have had the hardest time finding any sort of redeeming qualities within it... I think that it made me constipated too.

Here's the game plan for Terminal Descent's music: really fast drums, really fast guitars, dissonance to an amazingly irritating extent, horrible guitar leads and bad death metal vocals. Ready? Set! Hike! This is just very unlistenable music. At times this album, “Host Age To The Devil”, sounds like Tony Mikkelson (said one man in the band) is using Atari video game samples for guitar leads. There is no diversity in the songs; it sounds like one long, muddy, poo-infested pile of yuck. Mikkelson's vocals are muddy, his drums are mixed too loudly compared to the guitars. I guess that he is a good drummer, but he is most certainly not a good guitarist. The only redeeming quality that I can come up with is that the production is decent. Not good, not great, but not bad, just decent.

If you are looking to expand your death metal collection for the sake of expanding your death metal collection, go ahead and pick this up. On second thought, don't. This guy doesn't need to be encouraged. Do NOT buy this record unless you have Downs Syndrome and would like to hear what it would be like if a retard tried to play guitar like Trey Azagthoth.

Band:Terminal Descent Album:Host Age To The Devil Record Company:Unsigned Writer: The Vish Media: Myspace Click Album Cover To Buy Now

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