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Band:Hulda Album:Always Haunted Record Company:Unsigned Writer: Joey Edens Media: Myspace Click Album Cover To Buy Now

I don't want to be too blunt or too negative, but this disc from Hulda is so boring that I look forward to getting my next bout of diarrhea in the future, just to have some FUN. What the hell is going on with this? Hulda's latest effort, entitled "Always Haunted" is a snooze-a-rama to say the least, and their minimalistic 80's garage rock style is encouraging me to find out what getting hit by a bus feels like. Hailing from Astoria, New York, they sound much more like they should be coming from Astoria, Oregon, to tell the truth. These 10 songs are VERY predictable: verse, chorus, verse, repeat. OH MY GOD: REPEAT!!!!!! And then repeat the shit again.

Slower than hell musical transitions from this mostly over-the-hill rock act are only outshined in suckage by vocalist Lydia's slightly out-of-key-at-all-times singing. Not to knock her TOO much, but she sounds like those drunk chicks at karaoke at roughly 1:20 am at the local tex-mex bar....this is what Corona and cigarettes sounds like. The music itself....featuring weak keyboards, rock guitar that is repetitious and uninspiring, bass that's almost not there (or maybe I just can't pay attention to it from all the aurul dookie clogging my ears), and drums that are REALLY exciting if you're in your seventies just doesn't cut the mustard with me. BUT...on the other hand, the production is clear and decent, which kinda gives off the Cleveland Steamer on a crystal platter kind of feel. Nothing makes a turd more of a turd than being able to CLEARLY decipher that it is, in fact, a turd.

Songs like "Always Haunted", "Blame The Devil", and "Everything Went Black" have pretty much the exact same schlock-rock feel to them, like they could be on a commercial for some music-school or something to that effect. "Green River" would be an ok track.....if Lydia would just not sing. I can't stress enough how her voice just sounds like a constant dog fart to me....hollow and smelly and on a wrong note. "The Dream Goes On" actually features a (boring) bass line in the beginning and feels oddly like an Elton John song, complete with simple guitar solo at the end and annoying piano playing throughout.

I do apologize if I was too obscure concerning how I feel about this record, but really: if you're under age 50, avoid this record. I'm not feelin' it at all, and if you're a fan of extreme music, you'll definitely avoid it. To be honest, I don't think fans of actual 80's rock would dig this all that much either, but hey: check out their myspace and give it a chance, if (and only if) you already enjoy the 80's schlock rock style.

Band:Hulda Album:Always Haunted Record Company:Unsigned Writer: Joey Edens Media: Myspace Click Album Cover To Buy Now

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