Shit Kicking Hellacious Survey From The Depths Of Lunacy

[Mythos Inibri]

1 - How long did your longest fart last?

2 - Ever see a dead animal on the road and stop to collect it?

3 - Ever find a pubic hair in a bowl of chili?

4 - Have you ever tortured a small animal?

5 - Do you like the band Autopsy?

6 - How often do you listen to the radio?

7 - Do you prefer songs about Death over Love?

8 - Would you perform surgery on someone for fun?

9 - Do you own any studded leather garments?

10 - Would you have sex with a hermaphrodite?

11 - Have you ever punched a brick wall as hard as you can?

12 - Ever have fantasies of killing people in strange ways?

13 - When was the last time you were drunk or high?

14 - What is your favorite Death Metal band?

15 - favorite Black Metal Band?

16 - What was the last concert you attended?

17 - What is the next concert you plan on going to?

18 - Do you own any black leather boots?

19 - Ever kick someone when they're down?

20 - Did you ever offer your soul to Satan?

21 - Do you believe Jesus is real?

22 - What piece of musical equipment will you buy next?

23 - Do you play your instrument with other musicians?

[Lord Zombie]

1 - How long did your longest fart last? no clue, I don't time them

2 - Ever see a dead animal on the road and stop to collect it? wife won't let me

3 - Ever find a pubic hair in a bowl of chili? no

4 - Have you ever tortured a small animal? yes

5 - Do you like the band Autopsy? never listened to them

6 - How often do you listen to the radio? every chance I get

7 - Do you prefer songs about Death over Love? both

8 - Would you perform surgery on someone for fun? no

9 - Do you own any studded leather garments? no

10 - Would you have sex with a hermaphrodite? no

11 - Have you ever punched a brick wall as hard as you can? no

12 - Ever have fantasies of killing people in strange ways? yes

13 - When was the last time you were drunk or high? been years since I have been drunk and I have never been high

14 - What is your favorite Death Metal band? can't pick just one

15 - favorite Black Metal Band? Dimmu Borgir

16 - What was the last concert you attended? Michigan Moshfest

17 - What is the next concert you plan on going to? none as of yet

18 - Do you own any black leather boots? no

19 - Ever kick someone when they're down? yes

20 - Did you ever offer your soul to Satan? no

21 - Do you believe Jesus is real? if he is, he is wondering, " Where the fuck did I go wrong? "

22 - What piece of musical equipment will you buy next? maybe a guitar or bass someday

23 - Do you play your instrument with other musicians? have to have a instrument to play with other people

[Schatzi]

1 - How long did your longest fart last?
1 second?

2 - Ever see a dead animal on the road and stop to collect it?
no

3 - Ever find a pubic hair in a bowl of chili?
eeeeeewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!

4 - Have you ever tortured a small animal?
god no

5 - Do you like the band Autopsy?
never heard their music

6 - How often do you listen to the radio?
like never

7 - Do you prefer songs about Death over Love?
love

8 - Would you perform surgery on someone for fun?
I like to play doctor and be the patient.

9 - Do you own any studded leather garments?
haha

10 - Would you have sex with a hermaphrodite?
no

11 - Have you ever punched a brick wall as hard as you can?
no, i think i punched a regular wall once though.

12 - Ever have fantasies of killing people in strange ways?
um....nooooooooo

13 - When was the last time you were drunk or high?
almost 6 years ago.

14 - What is your favorite Death Metal band?
Six Feet Under

15 - favorite Black Metal Band?
I hate Black metal.

16 - What was the last concert you attended?
The Dirtbombs...that was a long time ago..last year..:-(

17 - What is the next concert you plan on going to?
Maybe this band Vietnam that is playing in Tucson June 4th.

18 - Do you own any black leather boots?
yeah but they don't fit right so i never wear them.

19 - Ever kick someone when they're down?
maybe a couple of times..but i try not to be like that.

20 - Did you ever offer your soul to Satan?
no

21 - Do you believe Jesus is real?
yes

22 - What piece of musical equipment will you buy next?
I'm asking my parents to get me a guitar for Christmas!

23 - Do you play your instrument with other musicians?
Probably not...

[fuzzay crisis]

1 - How long did your longest fart last?
it's still going right now...

2 - Ever see a dead animal on the road and stop to collect it?
nope but i collect clean bones if i find em

3 - Ever find a pubic hair in a bowl of chili?
no. just my mashed potatoes

4 - Have you ever tortured a small animal?
do bugs count

5 - Do you like the band Autopsy?
eh

6 - How often do you listen to the radio?
rarely

7 - Do you prefer songs about Death over Love?
death

8 - Would you perform surgery on someone for fun?
hmmm

9 - Do you own any studded leather garments?
yea

10 - Would you have sex with a hermaphrodite?
who knows

11 - Have you ever punched a brick wall as hard as you can?
yup

12 - Ever have fantasies of killing people in strange ways?
yea

13 - When was the last time you were drunk or high?
3 days ago

14 - What is your favorite Death Metal band?
bodom

15 - favorite Black Metal Band?
dissection

16 - What was the last concert you attended?
dark tranquillity

17 - What is the next concert you plan on going to?
poison

18 - Do you own any black leather boots?
yup

19 - Ever kick someone when they're down?
yup

20 - Did you ever offer your soul to Satan?
i have no soul

21 - Do you believe Jesus is real?
no

22 - What piece of musical equipment will you buy next?
new keys

23 - Do you play your instrument with other musicians?
yup

[Phantomreaper]

1 - How long did your longest fart last?
ar least 3 seconds
2 - Ever see a dead animal on the road and stop to collect it?
no
3 - Ever find a pubic hair in a bowl of chili?
no
4 - Have you ever tortured a small animal?
once
5 - Do you like the band Autopsy?
meh
6 - How often do you listen to the radio?
every once in awhile
7 - Do you prefer songs about Death over Love?
yes
8 - Would you perform surgery on someone for fun?
no
9 - Do you own any studded leather garments?
no
10 - Would you have sex with a hermaphrodite?
no
11 - Have you ever punched a brick wall as hard as you can?
no, but I punched a pole from a basketball hoop and fucked up my hand for afew weeks.
12 - Ever have fantasies of killing people in strange ways?
sometimes
13 - When was the last time you were drunk or high?
last time I used bondo
14 - What is your favorite Death Metal band?
SFU
15 - favorite Black Metal Band?
don't really care for it
16 - What was the last concert you attended?
The Blue Man Group's rockstar tour thing
17 - What is the next concert you plan on going to?
GWAR or SFU
18 - Do you own any black leather boots?
I have some black leather workboots
19 - Ever kick someone when they're down?
once
20 - Did you ever offer your soul to Satan?
no
21 - Do you believe Jesus is real?
meh
22 - What piece of musical equipment will you buy next?
dunno
23 - Do you play your instrument with other musicians?
not any more

[SHUT UP AND DIE]

1 - How long did your longest fart last?

Dude, interesting question.....ever had Mexican food and then had to go to some formal event where you couldn't rip ass due to "being polite"? This has happened to me.....and whilst I wasn't watching the clock, I'm fairly sure I cleared both the room and one full episode of Beavis and Butthead with a single rectal emission.

2 - Ever see a dead animal on the road and stop to collect it?

Yes, actually, but only with snakes.


3 - Ever find a pubic hair in a bowl of chili?

Isn't that one of the main ingredients?

4 - Have you ever tortured a small animal?

Does my wife count?

5 - Do you like the band Autopsy?

Yes I do.

6 - How often do you listen to the radio?

Fucking never.....for any reason.

7 - Do you prefer songs about Death over Love?

Aren't they one in the same?

8 - Would you perform surgery on someone for fun?

If it were legal and I didn't have to suffer any ramifications if things went wrong and said patient dies from various organ ruptures.....absolutely.

9 - Do you own any studded leather garments?

not anymore.

10 - Would you have sex with a hermaphrodite?

I have yet to fuck myself.

11 - Have you ever punched a brick wall as hard as you can?

Yup. And it resulted, predictably, in a broken wrist.

12 - Ever have fantasies of killing people in strange ways?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....that's funny.

13 - When was the last time you were drunk or high?

about....um...4 days ago (drunk)....high.....I dunno....3 weeks ago?

14 - What is your favorite Death Metal band?

Cannibal Corpse, of course.

15 - favorite Black Metal Band?

Immortal, foo.

16 - What was the last concert you attended?

Necrophagist/Decapitated/Cattle Decapitation/Cephalic Carnage.....so on and so forth.

17 - What is the next concert you plan on going to?

Cannibal Corpse/Black Dahlia Murder in September.

18 - Do you own any black leather boots?

yes I do.

19 - Ever kick someone when they're down?

Yup. Feels great on my end of the foot.

20 - Did you ever offer your soul to Satan?

He keeps rejecting me, that fuck.


21 - Do you believe Jesus is real?

Very real and very much in my pants......oh look, he's rising again.


22 - What piece of musical equipment will you buy next?

Dunno.....my son got a xylophone for his b-day, and we both kinda get off on that thing.

23 - Do you play your instrument with other musicians?

used to.....alas, now my audience is a one year old and my wife.