Ah, a dilema..... :)

[SHUT UP AND DIE]

Ok, for once this is not something negative (somewhat) that I'm posting. There's a new girl at work that has every single quality I have EVER looked for in a girl.......she's ambitious, attractive, opinionated, takes NO SHIT, loves metal, drinks coors light like it's the fountain of life, likes going to strip bars to see the women, and has a fondness for dudes like me: big ogre lookin' fucks that lift weights yet drink tons of beer.




Naturally, I'm married, so I am trying really hard to shrug off this girls SUPER FUCK ME FLARES she's setting off constantly. She's also made several moves to try and flirt with me, including play-fighting and touching my shoulders, calling me "hon", etc......she also engages me on a mental level concerning our business...she's always offering ideas that challenge mine, yet yield beautifully when she knows my ideas are better......she's so headstrong, I love it.



FUCK.....I dunno what to do.....I'm REALLY wanting to ask this chick out to a show soon ( as a friend, so help me, Zod....)......and I feel like an asshole for feeling that way, so then I kick myself back into the reality of it all......

What to do......

[-deathboy-]

here's a crazy concept, try discussing it with your wife. and not in the creepy "let's have a threesome" kinda way. express your interest in the new young lady while insuring your devotion to her at the same time. some times honesty can be the best policy.

[fuzzay crisis]

here's a crazy concept, try discussing it with your wife. and not in the creepy "let's have a threesome" kinda way. express your interest in the new young lady while insuring your devotion to her at the same time. some times honesty can be the best policy.

i totally agree. honesty is always the best. don't go sneaking around behind her back (even if you guys are just friends), because you could royally fuck yourself. tell her how you feel. who knows, maybe she'll dig it.

[Vertigo]

I agree... Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.

Honestly, as a wife... I wouldn't be too extremely excited at first if my husband came home and told me there's this super hot young thing at work that he wants to take out to a show, especially if he wanted to take HER out instead of ME.

BUT - there is something to be said for becoming friends with a person of the opposite sex and inviting them to do things on platonic and neutral terms ALONG WITH your significant other.

Once the three of you are closer and your wife has had some time to adjust to this other woman as just a person (and not "that hot chick at your work") you can start the creepy threesome talk... but I would recommend against just coming home and telling your wife there's some hot chick you'd totally bang if you weren't married to her skuzzy ass (even though I know you wouldn't say it like that, but she's a female, so that's all she'd hear).

Also... I know what it's like to have guy friends that like the same music, booze, lifestyle, clothes, hair, tattoos and piercings, and blah de blah. That doesn't mean I have to bang my male friends that like that stuff... or even bang them because they're hot. I am married to my husband and committed to banging him and only him unless and until we agree to different terms together as a couple. Plus it makes flirting with my hot guy friends that much more fun because we both know we can't have each other and sometimes that in itself is exciting and hot. (then my hubby gets the benefits from me being all riled up lol)

Please keep us updated on this.

[-deathboy-]

yeaup!
your wife can be your most dealy weapon when hunting with a new young thing!
*grin*
not that i know from experience or anything...:evil

[Mark Carras]

The one thing that has kept me from straying has been one thought. Someone else banging my wife. If I was allowed to have sex with someone else, then it would only be fair to let her go bang someone else. Well, since I could never deal with those tables being turned I stay away from the threesome talk.

So if you want to keep your marriage together I would say think about if you could deal with your wife having sex with some other guy.

Of course if your marriage is dead and you wouldn't care, that opens up a ton more options. One, you could just say "fuck it"...so to speak. Some say this kind of thing brings new life into a dead marriage. Not for me, but some are into that sort of thing. Or, just rub one out in the bathroom when you need to and otherwise keep it in your pants.

Another thing that keeps me faithful is that I know the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side" works for things like this. I have had a chance with women that are more physically attractive, enjoy more of the things I do, or whatever else. What keeps me from looking at them more is that overall my wife still offers me more. Between her being more intelligent then most of the women I meet, her being way more supportive then any sane woman would, and several other things, the other women do not compare.

So try doing this. Make a list of all the greatest things your wife has to offer. Then right next to it make a list of every great thing about this new chick. Compare. Then make a list out of all the negatives of both women and compare that. For me at least, my wife beats them everytime. It also helps remind me about how awesome my wife is. Good luck. :cool

[Vertigo]

Wow, mark, that list thing is a good idea. The whole "pros and cons" sort of deal.

And yeah, whenever my hubby jokes about banging one of my friends or something I'm like "cool, I'm going over to soandso's house" and that usually shuts him up right away... we like to mess with each other, though - so if you don't already have that kind of open banter, then saying those things would not be so funny as they seem to be to my husband and I. But Mark has a good point - if you wouldn't want her banging someone else, then why would YOU bang someone else?

[-deathboy-]

well duh! it's not like you want to pick out a chinette set with her or anything!

better yet, get the two of them hooked up together!

[Vertigo]

yeaup!
your wife can be your most dealy weapon when hunting with a new young thing!
*grin*
not that i know from experience or anything...:evil

He's got a point here you know... I'd totally let deathboy's wife hunt me. :genn Lol

[Vish]

this happened to me a year ago joey, i never told you about it because i was already going through some other shit that you know about. anyways, it was really close to happening. i'm glad i didnt do it though... really glad.

[Amon]

Just make her your regular "Saturday night thing!" :p

[SHUT UP AND DIE]

Ah, I like what I have heard from you guys...I'll post more on this but I'm exhausted right now (we just got back from the coast after spending the weekend). It's been in the back of my mind the whole time, though I haven't mentioned anything out loud (better judgement kicking in). There's a ton of factors involved, and I'm DEFINITELY not interested in wrecking my marriage after only two years.....but on the other hand.....this other chick: :monkeyspank


Well, fuck. :rotfl

[SHUT UP AND DIE]

Ok, tonight at work this girl decides to tell me that I'm "fine" (assuming this to mean appealing to her), and we get into a heavy rap about our relationships. Well....I reveal the stressors in mine and she tell me those in hers. We are now beginning to toss around the idea of getting drinks after work.....her dude is extremely jealous though. Not that I'm worried...he's a midget and I have complete confidence in my ability to deal with conflict, but it's just ....wierd. My wife, ironically...later tonight when I get home, decides to bring up the fact that we really have nothing in common (which, aside from our boy, is pretty much true) and that something needs to change.


I feel something big is on the horizon with my future, and it's making me both giddy and nauseous. I feel drama afoot in the future....yet I hate drama (stop laughing), and all that shit in reality. Anyways.....I feel like this new girl is making more and more of an impression on me every day.


FUCK. Ever been in the crosshairs of a crossroad?

[-deathboy-]

i went down to the crossroads
fell down on my knees and prayed



change is the only thing that stays the same in life.


\m/(o.0)\m/

[Vertigo]

Once you start confiding about the problems of your relationship in an intimate matter to the opposite sex... ugh.

It's really interesting that your wife brought that up. I wonder if she meant what she said in the way you picked up on it (that it might be time to part soon) or if she meant it in a way that she would like to do more together and spend more time together, getting to know each other again, and share more interests. I hope you can clear your head of thinking of the new girl long enough to think clearly about your situation with your wife... You are married, remember?

I'm not going to sit here and judge you either way, because maybe you married the wrong person. I just want to reiterate that the grass is always greener, and maybe being so giddy about the new girl makes you not think so clearly about the meaningful aspects of the relationship you already have. It's easier to just say "cool, we don't have things in common? then fuck it... on to something new" only to realize in a year that new girl is annoying and stupid and you really miss your ex wife and all the wonderful qualities she offered. You just never know until you go though, so good luck with everything.

[SHUT UP AND DIE]

You are married, remember?

Yuppers. In spite of feeling like I should forget sometimes...

I'm not going to sit here and judge you either way, because maybe you married the wrong person. I just want to reiterate that the grass is always greener

Very, very, very true. And thanks for not judging, I am only human. :) I am trying to keep everything in perspective, but comparing the pros with the cons is beginning to get......influential to my train of thought.

[-deathboy-]

...or you spice things up in the curent relationship with a tequila fueled weekend evening of naked introductions for the two ladies!



it's just a thought...

[SHUT UP AND DIE]

...or you spice things up in the curent relationship with a tequila fueled weekend evening of naked introductions for the two ladies!



it's just a thought...

haha, not even remotely possible, lol

[-deathboy-]

see, that's where the tequila comes in!

[DtroitPunk72]

Another thing is this. When a relationship gets stale you may feel like you do now. But trying a new situation WILL NOT work. Eventually if you pursue it the new girl becomes the old girl all too soon.

The real trick is to spark the relationship you HAVE. Try doing things just the 2 of you more often.

My wife and I love MOST of the same things and try to get away to do things together as often as we can.

Sure we drive each other nuts some of the time, but we are still each others BFF's and the best lovers either of us ever had.

After over 17 years together! 16 Married.

Also this is EXACTLY why my wife and I as Christians dont believe we should even HAVE friends of the opposite sex. If you go around acting friendly with someone at work it is almost INEVITABLE that some single girl is going to try to mess with a stable guy who can commit.

The girl doesnt seem to realize though that if she CAN lure you from your wife, how long will it be till someone does the same to her?

Talk to your wife man! If you can talk to us a bunch of strangers about something so personal and you feel you CANT talk to your missus, thats a BIG problem.

[Amon]

When a relationship gets stale you may feel like you do now. But trying a new situation WILL NOT work. Eventually if you pursue it the new girl becomes the old girl all too soon.

That's what mistresses are for. They're disposable ;)

[Mark Carras]

That's what mistresses are for. They're disposable ;)

Is that why you don't call anymore? :cry

[-deathboy-]

good lord. spare me.

i too have been with my wife for going on 2 decades now, married for 15. she is my best friend and greatest lover also.

now...

did you ever stop to think for one moment that sometimes honesty, for a change, can be a turn on to a female? and sometimes introducing the new "interest" can be just that exact spark that a dull relationship could use. or an exciting relationship for that matter? hmm? in nature there are very few animals that remain monogamous for their lifetime. can you name any? and as animals, albiet sentient ones, it is not truly in our nature to be monogamous either. what is the number one cause of divorce in america? hmm? and why do you think that is? because we are not meant for monagamy.

love is completely a different matter though. i can have sex with multiple different women, yet i don't want to hold hands and walk around the zoo nor pick out drapes for the front room with them. i simply want to have bestial rough sex and send 'em on their way.

...now what was my point again...? got a little sidetracked there for a moment.

most men are not honest with their women, causing distrust and jealousy to rear it's ugly siamese head and cause strife and fighting in your relationship. but, if a man can learn to be honest and up front, or a woman for that matter, it can be one of the most stimulating things a lover can do for you. plus it can land you in some extremely interesting situations.
:headbanger







oh yea, and spare us the christian rhetoric if you don't mind please.

[Gore Whore]

So true -deathboy-, perhaps that is why I married you.



The real trick is to spark the relationship you HAVE. Try doing things just the 2 of you more often.

My wife and I love MOST of the same things and try to get away to do things together as often as we can.

Sure we drive each other nuts some of the time, but we are still each others BFF's and the best lovers either of us ever had.

After over 17 years together! 16 Married.

Also this is EXACTLY why my wife and I as Christians dont believe we should even HAVE friends of the opposite sex. If you go around acting friendly with someone at work it is almost INEVITABLE that some single girl is going to try to mess with a stable guy who can commit.


How can you GET any spark in your relationship if you don't even have friends of the opposite sex??
I could never get jealous of my husband being friends with girls...are you kidding me? Why would you limit yourself to only having friends of the same sex? That sounds as exciting as watching paint dry. I already know what it is like to be a girl and I enjoy getting the male perspective on life. I don't always agree and often get into heated debates with people but damn that's what makes life INTERESTING!

Thank gwar my hubby appeciates me for the person I am and trusts me to hang out with whoever I want to, given that I am a grown woman with a mind of her own. In turn I appreciate him for who he is, and trust him to hang with who he wants to - including all his girl friends! That's how a real relationship works.

[Bonehead]

oh yea, and spare us the christian rhetoric if you don't mind please.

Excuse me, but how is that a fair statement? You have the right to express your opinion, but because he has a Christian viewpoint he he is supposed to keep quiet?

How would you feel if people here started saying to you "please spare us your hedonistic rhetoric" or "keep your humanistic philosophy to yourself". We all have a belief system and the right to express it. It is up to the individual to either accept the advice or reject it. There doesn't need to be any exclusions of anyone's opinions, and if that starts to happen, I believe that participation will drop.

Say what you want to say, and live the way you want to live. But also allow others that same right, please.

[SHUT UP AND DIE]

Alright folks, let's not get sidetracked. This is about me and an awkward situation with a really nice lookin' female. Not religion....although, to be honest, I won't accept any advice from that religion at all. It's cool if you like it and whatnot, Dtroit (and Bonehead), but christian standards will have no importance in this matter, as the majority of "rules" in christianity regarding almost everything are a joke to me. When someone says they won't take any friends of the opposite sex because of a tie to their religion, there is something a little off.

Back on point, though.....the flirtation at work has escalated (to include blatant statements....:( ), and I've been trying extremely hard to be on my best behavior and kinda tried to put some space 'twix the young lady and myself. No slip ups or anything, so I'm doing ok so far. As far as telling my wife....she's SOOOOOOOO not into that, lol. She's not into girls at all, I've asked, haha. We've just been in a marital slow-down for a bit, and we've been trying to spike that a little as well.

[Mark Carras]

Yes, this is a board with several religious beliefs. Some people here are even fucked up in the head enough to bow to a Flying Spaghetti Monster if you can believe it! So let's all respect everyone's religious beliefs.

However, I do want to point out that giving religion as a reason to do or not do something to a person who is not of that religion is not respecting that persons aversion to said religion. ;)

For example, you will never see me try to shove the 8 "I really wish you wouldn't" list in a debate. Ok, maybe that is against the 8 I really wish you wouldn't guidelines of my religion, but still...you get my point.

What works for one (or two in the case of a couple) may not work for others. It may seem strange to deathboy and Gorewhore (hope you two don't mind being an example) that other marriages work great within monogamy, but they respect that. They offer what works for them and leave it at that.

It's not that what one says is wrong because we are calling the religion wrong. We are saying that you have to respect that most here do not have that same belief, so giving your religion as a reason they should do something a specific way is wrong...simply because they are not of that religion. Hope that makes sense. :uhoh

For Joey, stay strong. It's not worth destroying your family over. :cool

[Bonehead]

Back on point, though.....the flirtation at work has escalated (to include blatant statements....:( ), and I've been trying extremely hard to be on my best behavior and kinda tried to put some space 'twix the young lady and myself. No slip ups or anything, so I'm doing ok so far.

'Tis a very dangerous situation you have yourself in, my friend. See, there is nothing more attractive to a man than a lady that is really attracted to him. But you have to remember that there are those people out there that play games with others, such as seeing how far they can get with a married person. It isn't always a case of true attraction, but rather the thrill of the hunt, or the possible conquest of a challenge. It may not be something real between you, but you may just be "another notch in her lipstick case". So before you put something good at risk, take a long hard look at what you "might" have, as opposed to what you do have.

Now, I hope that you all understand that I was not defending Dtroit's statements, as I did not offer an opinion on them. In truth, I do not agree with them as most of my friends are female and I have never had a problem with staying faithful to my wife. I am only defending his right to say what he believes, which I believe is the right of every person, as long as it stays away from derogatory comments and insults. As I said before, accept or reject the advice as you see fit, but let's please not tell anyone that they don't have the right to express their opinion.

[Mark Carras]

'Tis a very dangerous situation you have yourself in, my friend. See, there is nothing more attractive to a man than a lady that is really attracted to him. But you have to remember that there are those people out there that play games with others, such as seeing how far they can get with a married person. It isn't always a case of true attraction, but rather the thrill of the hunt, or the possible conquest of a challenge. It may not be something real between you, but you may just be "another notch in her lipstick case". So before you put something good at risk, take a long hard look at what you "might" have, as opposed to what you do have.

I totally saw this in my own life. I had ex-girlfriends that I was trying for years to get back with. Always rejected until I started getting serious with my now wife. Once I was in a very serious relationship, I had just about every single one of them call me up and want to get together. One even said she was willing to just be a fuck on the side. Another one wanted to bring another female friend over just for sex! All of them had rejected me several times each. It was like they had this super powered radar, because I never talked to any of them, but they all knew I was getting "off the market".

I still wish that offer of a threesome came before I got serious with Sherri though. :cry

[-deathboy-]

Excuse me, but how is that a fair statement? You have the right to express your opinion, but because he has a Christian viewpoint he he is supposed to keep quiet?

How would you feel if people here started saying to you "please spare us your hedonistic rhetoric" or "keep your humanistic philosophy to yourself". We all have a belief system and the right to express it. It is up to the individual to either accept the advice or reject it. There doesn't need to be any exclusions of anyone's opinions, and if that starts to happen, I believe that participation will drop.

Say what you want to say, and live the way you want to live. But also allow others that same right, please.

-deathboy- fakes to the left, guts back, twists to the right and drives to the 3 point line. he sets hisself, jumps up. he shoots... he scores! oh what an unbelievable show of ball handling that was!

*grin*

[Amon]

Touch her titties damnit!:monkeythumb:fsm2

[fuzzay crisis]

I totally saw this in my own life. I had ex-girlfriends that I was trying for years to get back with. Always rejected until I started getting serious with my now wife. Once I was in a very serious relationship, I had just about every single one of them call me up and want to get together. One even said she was willing to just be a fuck on the side. Another one wanted to bring another female friend over just for sex! All of them had rejected me several times each. It was like they had this super powered radar, because I never talked to any of them, but they all knew I was getting "off the market".

I still wish that offer of a threesome came before I got serious with Sherri though. :cry

same shit happens to me too. it's funny how they don't want you unless they can't have you. i waited around for 8 months after the last ex and i broke up, still hanging on to him and wanting him back. i was living with him at one point but he completely pushed me out of his life (and out the door, literally). then i met my current drop dead balls to the wall sexy/amazing/completely metal boyfriend at a bodom show and now i'm all his. my ex wouldn't stop calling me/sending me e-mails after he found this out. he obviously doesn't give one fuck about me seeing as how he acted in our relationship.

i guess all i'm trying to say is, honestly, you can't trust anyone. especially people who want you hard when they know you're with someone else. NOT ME, but i have friends who are "homewreckers" who ditch the dude after they wreck their lives. and believe it or not, guys who do the same to chicks. they straight up told me they like the power they get when they do it. i'm not saying you can't trust anyone, but dude, this chick might not truly dig you. i know you've been pretty close with her lately, but just be careful. i say get to know her better first before you make any big descisions. because 70% of those types of people are scumbags. if you find that you two truly are meant to be after time, i say go for it. but you have to be honest with your wife about it. even though you'll break her heart, you won't be a scumbag for telling her the truth. and who knows, she may also feel as if the relationship's not working as well (judging by what you've said previously).

if you find you still want to be with your wife, as well as this new chick (just sexually), tell your wife. it never hurts. my boyfriend and i came to the agreement if angela gossow wants to bang him, i'll let him, AND i'll join because i know damn well he doesn't "love" her...plus i think she's hot too. you know what i mean?

hope i helped somewhat.