did i just f*ck myself?

[fuzzay crisis]

ok ok. so i got a manager position at my job. and a huge raise. AND more hours. which is nice because i just moved into my new place. i'm getting transferred to another store next week so i can start as head cheese.

great, right?

PROBLEM.

tomorrow i have a drug test. a piss test. aaaand i smoked this week. my boss failed to tell me i had to do this for this position until yesterday. did i fuck myself? is there anything i can possibly do at this point? not only do i not want to miss out on the manager possibility, but i don't want to lose my job completely also.

i've been drinking lots of water. i'm taking b12 pills. and those "system cleanser" drinks are illegal in new jersey. please help. i have to do this tomorrow morning.

[Fleshripper]

Well sadly i'm a expert on this topic when i got on probation i was being tested 2 times a week and I was not sober one bit I'll tell you what worked for me. A mixture of cranberry juice and vinegar. I suggest you to stop taking the b12 pills since they can tell if you been doing that. Cranberry juice is a good way to cleanse your system out drinking that stuff really works but you gotta drink like at least a gallon or more to get the shit out of your system. This kept me out of jail and actually kept me clean for more than a year smoking wise since i really didn't wanna be locked up I just quit doing everything i do and just drank time to time. I hope this helps Good luck Fuzz

[Vertigo]

Yeah, the only thing I know of is the system cleaner drinks or niacin. If you can find a hippie herb store, they might have some detox teas, but I'm pretty sure you have to drink those for a good couple of weeks.

Who knows - try the cranberry juice suggestion. That sounds like it might do the trick. Just drink LOTS of whatever you buy between now and tomorrow. You might have to pee every ten minutes, but it might help clean you out.

Does anybody else find it extremely annoying that getting a position at a job can rest on whether or not you've smoked some pot in the last little while? Since when is it OK for my boss to tell me whether or not I can smoke a j. in my off time? :shrug I even feel the same with driving positions. Sure I don't want a bunch of stoner-delivery-guys out on the roads, but what's the big freakin' deal once you're off work and at home? The problem is they can't test whether you smoke after 5 pm or not. (Oh - right - marijuana is "illegal". Psssh)

[Mythos Inibri]

marijuana started making me extremely violent after only 5 years of smoking it so i quit.i've only been tested twice and had been stoned within 2 days of both times and it came back negative.I don't know why,but good luck FUZZ

[Mark Carras]

Does anybody else find it extremely annoying that getting a position at a job can rest on whether or not you've smoked some pot in the last little while? Since when is it OK for my boss to tell me whether or not I can smoke a j. in my off time? :shrug I even feel the same with driving positions. Sure I don't want a bunch of stoner-delivery-guys out on the roads, but what's the big freakin' deal once you're off work and at home? The problem is they can't test whether you smoke after 5 pm or not. (Oh - right - marijuana is "illegal". Psssh)

Yup, that is the reason. it is against the law. They have a way to tell if you have done this one thing that is against the law. The fact that it is against the law makes it "right".

What makes it wrong, is the fact that they have a harder time testing for the harder drugs that you can overdose from. Now I do not and never have ever had any voluntary ingestion (I have been to shows where the smell was pretty damn thick)of any kind when it comes to pot. I do however think this whole this is retarded. Since you can't overdose on pot, but you can overdose on beer something is a little off. Since they can test if you have had pot within several days, but for the "Real" drugs it has to have been within hours, something is a little off. So this is fucked up, but that is not the topic of this post.

So let's talk about beating the drug test. The honest truth is that the drug tests are getting really good at catching you trying to beat them. It used to be that you could say you just ate a poppy-seed muffin for breakfast. Then they would re-do the test a couple days later. More info at http://www.snopes.com/medical/drugs/poppyseed.asp


Does drinking bleach work? Nope. http://www.snopes.com/crime/clever/bleach.asp


So be careful with these drug test buster drinks. You can do yourself harm by drinking them. Some of them have some pretty nasty stuff.

I will tell you how I helped a friend beat the drug test once. All my friends know I am drug free. I was very well known for being drug free in my 20's. So when a friend had to beat a piss test for a job, he gave me a call. He took in my clean piss and it did work. However, you have to be very careful, because they have several ways to catch cheaters. Since they test for temperature, we had to make sure it was as fresh as possible. So he got a little film bottle and brought it to the doctors office. He picked me up and I got myself a huge bottle of pepsi. I drank that thing down as fast as I could so I could piss at the drop of a hat. Then we got to the hospital where he was to do the piss test. I pissed in the little bottle. Then he grabbed that thing and stuck it right under his taint. Then he ran as fast as he could without having the bottle get "misplaced". He went in and they had the bottle ready to go,so we were lucky there was no waiting. He went in, poured his bottle into theirs, and handed it over. He passed with flying colors...with my piss. Then a few months later he pissed me off and when they called him in for a random he got fired. :rotfl So don't piss off your piss buddy. The one thing that could fuck this up is if they watch you. Some do, but you can only do so much. Good luck!

[Vertigo]

Um, it's F.Y.E. I would be horrified if they actually went to all the trouble to make sure someone watched you take your pee test. *blech* I could see maybe if it was for the D.E.A. or something, but a stinkin record store? That's a bit extreme.

And that is the problem with it being illegal. It's a freaking plant that grows. In fact, it's a WEED that grows freely. And it stays in your system the longest. Lameo McLamerson.

Oh and for the record, I'm not a big ol' stoner or anything. I just think people who WANT to be big ol' stoners should be allowed to.

[Mark Carras]

Um, it's F.Y.E. I would be horrified if they actually went to all the trouble to make sure someone watched you take your pee test. *blech* I could see maybe if it was for the D.E.A. or something, but a stinkin record store? That's a bit extreme.

And that is the problem with it being illegal. It's a freaking plant that grows. In fact, it's a WEED that grows freely. And it stays in your system the longest. Lameo McLamerson.

Oh and for the record, I'm not a big ol' stoner or anything. I just think people who WANT to be big ol' stoners should be allowed to.

I know what you are saying and I agree with you. However, the point of the post is to help her beat it. Not to debate how stupid the law is.

As far as the watching thing goes, that is not up to F.Y.E. She won't take the test at work. It depends on where she takes it. Because of my "cheat" posted above, many have started watching the person pee to make sure this is not done. My way of cheating the test is pretty damn solid and watching them pee is the ONLY way to catch someone.

I wasn't trying to chastise you are anything. Just trying to keep things on topic so we can talk about how to beat it for our friend. My goal is to make sure we can help her. Nothing else. :)

As far as you being a big stoner, I have never smoked pot and I think the whole thing is stupid as hell. :cool

[SHUT UP AND DIE]

I doubt anyone will watch her pee. They typically only do that for the police/military (heh, try peeing while you're being watched by 2 people AND they're screaming at you). Honestly, the cranberry thing will work, but here's a hint: you don't have to drive your heartburn crazy by drinking a shitload. Take 2 cranberry concentrate pills and DRINK WATER. Lot's of it. Until you feel like you're gonna puke and die.

This is for a record store......uh....isn't it THE LAW that you HAVE to be stoned? :) Or at least drunk......

[Vertigo]

I know what you are saying and I agree with you. However, the point of the post is to help her beat it. Not to debate how stupid the law is.

As far as the watching thing goes, that is not up to F.Y.E. She won't take the test at work. It depends on where she takes it. Because of my "cheat" posted above, many have started watching the person pee to make sure this is not done. My way of cheating the test is pretty damn solid and watching them pee is the ONLY way to catch someone.

I wasn't trying to chastise you are anything. Just trying to keep things on topic so we can talk about how to beat it for our friend. My goal is to make sure we can help her. Nothing else. :)

As far as you being a big stoner, I have never smoked pot and I think the whole thing is stupid as hell. :cool

Oh I know you're not chastising me. It's all good. I hope she beats it. I was just side-commenting.

And I said I'm NOT a big ol' stoner ;)

[Vertigo]

Honestly, the cranberry thing will work, but here's a hint: you don't have to drive your heartburn crazy by drinking a shitload. Take 2 cranberry concentrate pills and DRINK WATER. Lot's of it. Until you feel like you're gonna puke and die. :rotfl

This is for a record store......uh....isn't it THE LAW that you HAVE to be stoned? :) Or at least drunk...... :rotfl

[Mark Carras]

As far as the watching someone pee for a drug test, they do it at my wife's work. So it is not just for government, military, or anything like that. They do this all the time now because if you bring in someone else's pee it is the only way to catch you cheating.

However, since bringing in someone else's pee is the only way to make sure you pass, try it anyways. Hell, try that along with the 2 cranberry concentrate pills a shitloads of water. If one doesn't work you have a back up.

Good luck and let us know how it goes. I want to know which idea gets you the promotion. :cool

[Vish]

when i was in rehab, i kept everybody else in my rehab classes high, cuz i pissed clean piss for them. they were all stoned and i was serious about getting clean at the time. everybody was making such great progress. i got in deep shit when they found out i was pissing for everybody because most of the people i was pissing for were on probation and shit.

[Amon]

Tell your boss you eat poppy seed muffins every morning and if he'd informed you of the test you'd have taken a week off from eating them.

See if you can get an extension.

You could also bring in a box of poppy seed muffins and offer them to everyone (especially your boss). Someone is bound to speak up and say they'll test positive which may buy you an extension since you "didn't know" ;)

[Mark Carras]

Tell your boss you eat poppy seed muffins every morning and if he'd informed you of the test you'd have taken a week off from eating them.

See if you can get an extension.

You could also bring in a box of poppy seed muffins and offer them to everyone (especially your boss). Someone is bound to speak up and say they'll test positive which may buy you an extension since you "didn't know" ;)

That would work if it was morphine or codeine she was trying to cover up. She is trying to cover up pot use. Also, because the drug screen for the presence of opiates is so sensitive, some agencies that rely on it have since raised the cut-off level for a positive to 2000 ng/mL, which eliminates many of the poppy seed false positives.

[fuzzay crisis]

Tell your boss you eat poppy seed muffins every morning and if he'd informed you of the test you'd have taken a week off from eating them.

See if you can get an extension.

You could also bring in a box of poppy seed muffins and offer them to everyone (especially your boss). Someone is bound to speak up and say they'll test positive which may buy you an extension since you "didn't know" ;)

unfortunately my boss knows i smoke, as i know she does too. that's why she feels bad that she didn't remember to tell me. the test is out of her control. it's the company and higher-ups that need me to do it. like i said, i'm getting a HUGE raise. not just a small one. this i need right now.

in any case, i've been drinking water so much that my head hurts. but i'm making sure i drink juice too so it's not just straight water. plus i took about 5 b-12 pills yesterday. i did go to this underground health store and happened to find "the drink" for $30. one of my best friends told me that it actually worked for him (he's taken it more than once and smokes 10x more than me). and it's the kind you drink the day of the test (like an hour before hand) and it says you're clean for up to 6 hours. so i'm going to pound that thing before i go in today.

we'll see what happens. hopefully i can do this.

[fuzzay crisis]

That would work if it was morphine or codeine she was trying to cover up. She is trying to cover up pot use. Also, because the drug screen for the presence of opiates is so sensitive, some agencies that rely on it have since raised the cut-off level for a positive to 2000 ng/mL, which eliminates many of the poppy seed false positives.

yea it doesn't eliminate the poppy-opium factor. it shows how MUCH opium you have in your system. obviously no one eats 20 poppy bagels a day. so if you have a disgusting amount it shows that. i learned that the hard way a few years ago.

(by the way, opium stays in your system for 6 months. and no, you can't get rid of it.)

[Vertigo]

unfortunately my boss knows i smoke, as i know she does too. that's why she feels bad that she didn't remember to tell me. the test is out of her control. it's the company and higher-ups that need me to do it. like i said, i'm getting a HUGE raise. not just a small one. this i need right now.

in any case, i've been drinking water so much that my head hurts. but i'm making sure i drink juice too so it's not just straight water. plus i took about 5 b-12 pills yesterday. i did go to this underground health store and happened to find "the drink" for $30. one of my best friends told me that it actually worked for him (he's taken it more than once and smokes 10x more than me). and it's the kind you drink the day of the test (like an hour before hand) and it says you're clean for up to 6 hours. so i'm going to pound that thing before i go in today.

we'll see what happens. hopefully i can do this.

Cool, I'm glad you found one of those drinks. I know at least 3 people that have taken that drink and it worked, so good luck. Let us know how it turns out! *sends positive huge raise vibes your way*

[Vish]

when i first opened this thread... i was thinking of naughty things. i am disappointed.

[DtroitPunk72]

when i first opened this thread... i was thinking of naughty things. i am disappointed.

Iam too! At YOU, ya pervert!

[Vish]

Iam too! At YOU, ya pervert!

it is metal! :maiden

[tbhride]

Hope things work!

[fuzzay crisis]

i passed the test! BUNG!

[Mythos Inibri]

good news:headbanger

now be a little more cautious:uhoh

[Phantomreaper]

That's great. You really lucked out on that one.

[Mark Carras]

i passed the test! BUNG!

Woo Hoo! What worked for you? Did you try several ideas or just one? Spill the details so others may benefit. :cool

[fuzzay crisis]

i bought 3 of those waters that are disgustingly huge. you know, the biggest ones you can get. i pounded one the night before and took 3 b-12 pills with it. the morning of, i pounded the second bottle, went and picked up the detox drink, drank that about 2 hours before i had my piss test, and drank another bottle right before i went in.

my piss was completely clear. drinkable probably. oh, and i pissed about 60 times before the test to make sure everything was squeaky clean.

so it was a bunch of things really. just to be cautious.

anyway, all i have to do is a background check now tomorrow. i have no criminal record which is good. but if i have a looney bin record, does that show up? or is that medically confidential?

[Phantomreaper]

but if i have a looney bin record, does that show up? or is that medically confidential?

It might show up depending on what you were shacked up in the wacko basket for.

[fuzzay crisis]

It might show up depending on what you were shacked up in the wacko basket for.

i didn't fuck a sheep or eat my own feces so hopefully i'm good.

[Mythos Inibri]

I'm pretty sure that is confidential Fuzz unless you sign a release of information for your employers

[-deathboy-]

you didn't happen to murder your mother with a pair of scissors cause you thought she was a robot and you wanted to see what was inside making her tick did you?

[Mythos Inibri]

you didn't happen to murder your mother with a pair of scissors cause you thought she was a robot and you wanted to see what was inside making her tick did you?

I've heard that somewhere before:confused:

[Mark Carras]

you didn't happen to murder your mother with a pair of scissors cause you thought she was a robot and you wanted to see what was inside making her tick did you?

I've heard that somewhere before:confused:

That was the leader of the band NME. Kurt Struebing : guitars / vocals (R.I.P 9th March 2005)

If you ever met the guy in his later years he was the kindest and coolest person you could ever sit and have a beer with. He did have that one time from his past that haunted him until the day he died. Deathboy will correct me if I am wrong on this, but I believe he was on a ton of drugs at the time. http://www.metal-archives.com/band.php?id=8024

[-deathboy-]

yes, he was whacked out on loads of chemicals and deep into satanism and such. he actually used a hatchet and a pair of scissors. their album unholy death is one of the foundations of all black metal.

i am also proud to say he was a very close personal friend. he was a loving husband and proud father. he just had a deeper skeleton in his closet than most. this ended up taking him out.

[slamtv]

i am also proud to say he was a very close personal friend. he was a loving husband and proud father. he just had a deeper skeleton in his closet than most. this ended up taking him out.

Yup. Me too. I miss Kurt.

[MistressSpin]

anyway, all i have to do is a background check now tomorrow. i have no criminal record which is good. but if i have a looney bin record, does that show up? or is that medically confidential?


If you were committed via a court order in conclusion to a legal repercussion, yes, it may show up. But whatever legal issue that got you that court order will be how it is listed and, depending on what that is, could be used against you depending on the company's policies on what is/isn't acceptable in a background check.

Otherwise, it won't show up period. It would be a serious HIPAA violation....winning lawsuit serious.

[Mr. Kaneko]

Welcome to the adult world. Perhaps you will curtail from smoking pot. The best way to beat the test is to not have anything in your system to fail it.

Sorry, but I don't support your right to stay high.

[Amon]

I don't use anything but alchohol but I think it all should be legal and controlled. If people want to kill themselves that's their problem. More air for me!

The most weed does is make some people lazy.

[Vertigo]

Agreed Amon.

Weed is one thing.

White drugs are a whole different story. If someone doesn't know themselves well enough to know that they can do them in moderation (hey I've heard of it before) then to use Amon's wording, they can kill themselves if they want.

If you are a human being, you should not be told what you can and can not do to your own body. Just sayin...

[Xir0n]

As a side note, in the future, there's an alternate way to get way more B12 than you would ever need.

There's an energy drink mix called Zipfizz (http://www.zipfizz.com/products.html) that has 41667% of your daily recommended dosage of vitamin B12. And it's actually almost healthy for you.

It doesn't keep you awake for ever either, it just sorta makes you not tired anymore.

[Mythos Inibri]

Although I no longer use drugs except my prescribed anti-psychotics I believe LSD brought me very close to God.Pot kinda sucks,I liked it for the first few years but the extreme paranoia forced me to look for other more powerful mind altering chemicals.I had pretty much quit before smoking meth got popular,Man them meth smokers look worse then the crack-heads I grew up with:tard Glad I no longer pick up.