fuzzay crisis
08-07-2008, 09:57 PM
i am honestly about to lose my shit on this one person in particular. this person has done nothing wrong (in the moral sense that is), but i can't help but still hate her.
this is going to be long, but this is quite possibly the most strife i've ever had to deal with. so please bare with me.
what makes you who you are? the fact that you're different, unique, you have your own ideas and thoughts and feelings on things. whether rarely or often, you run into someone else who is similar to you in one way or another. your friends are your friends simply because they can relate to you in most ways that others can not, or you just enjoy their company. with that being said, i'd like to state that i am my own indvidual person who is unaffected by others views on the world and i stay true to myself, which as i have realized most of you are as well (which is why i feel comfortable here). i respect you, and you respect me, as most friendships should be.
but what happens when you are living your life, doing what you can to survive, and just being yourself...and then suddenly, there is another person who is now exactly like you, or at least THINKS she is?
in my specific case, there happens to be this girl, who when we met, annoyed the living piss out of me, with quite possibly the worst personality ever (i am not the only one who feels this way, by far). not only did she make me want to leave the area just to get away from her (or put a bullet in my brain), she and i had absolutely nothing in common. she just happened to be there because she is dating a good friend of mine. and she is still ALWAYS there. this is not the worst part.
she has now transformed into what i like to call "psuedo fuzz". over the past few months, she has rapidly changed into a parrallel-universe image of myself. before i go any further, let me explain this concept better:
1) her wardrobe now consists of what you may find in MY closet. i'm not a trendsetter. i wear your basic black band t-shirts, and jeans or cargo pants. this once-preppy chick now goes out of her way to shop at the same army/navy and discount stores i go to to get my clothes. she does not leave me alone until i tell her exactly where i got an article of clothing and how to get there. not even a week later, i see her wearing the exact same thing i'm wearing.
2) music tastes vary among most people. i have a lot of friends who do not listen to anything i listen to. they are my friends because i get along with them. sure, i have some friends that are into SOME of the same bands as i am, but never ALL of the bands i listen to. before i loaned my ipod to this girl, she listened to every form of music i can honestly say i despise (which is most of the stuff you'd find on mtv from the mid 90's to today), but she deffinitely never listened to metal in her life, in fact, i know she didn't like it and still doesn't. not even a month later she is calling herself the biggest bodom fan on the planet, butchering the names of the band members and not knowing the title to a single song or album. she insisted on going to a bodom show with us, it being her first metal show ever. not even halfway through the show, she wanted to go home. she clearly hated the music and the atmosphere. she enraged me so much for making me miss half of the show (by calling me and yelling at me to leave every 2 minutes), and for getting me kicked out of backstage because my cellphone kept going off, that i abosultely lost it on some random guy who said something nasty to me. in any case, even after that night, she still claims that bodom is her favorite band in the world, and that she tells other people about how awsome they are all of the time. what she doesn't realize is how ignorant she sounds when she STILL doesn't know anything more than just the title of the band: "children of bodom", and proceeds to call herself "the biggest fan in nj".
3) this is quite possibly the most ludicris of all of my points. i have become quite ill over the past few months, finally rendering me to remain in my house on doctor's orders for the next few months-year (depending on my progress). my illness gives me many different setbacks such as severe back problems and crippling pain in various parts of my body (to say the least). and as you probably already have guessed, this girl is now "magicially" just as sick as i am, with the exact same thing. we all know it's false. especially considering, i don't have just one illness, but many. so when she says her symptoms are the same as mine, and she knows what i'm going through, again, she makes herself look completely rediculous. what bothers me more is that she always "in more pain" than me. I CAN NOT LEAVE MY HOUSE. i can barely sleep because of the amount of pain i experience constantly. i have not left my bed for the past 3 weeks. she goes out every day for most of the day and claims that she is worse off than me, health-wise. not only does she make these claims to me, she does to everyone else, getting sympathy from people she does not deserve. i on the other hand, do not need sympathy. i just ask my friends to visit, seeing as how i can't leave. i don't discuss how shitty i feel when i have company. it's not "cool". it's not "awsome". and i would trade anything to get my health back and to breathe fresh outside-air again.
now you understand the position i'm in, and the true dilemma i'm facing. she's a nice girl. but this is getting to be a little bit too much. i don't know how much more i can handle. and i just don't want to lose my friendship with the person she's dating because he is, in fact, my best friend, and i need him, just as he needs me.
i only fear that my lack of anger management is soon to snap and i am going to completely lay into her. if anyone has any advice, it is appreciated, because, honestly, i can't do this anymore.
this is going to be long, but this is quite possibly the most strife i've ever had to deal with. so please bare with me.
what makes you who you are? the fact that you're different, unique, you have your own ideas and thoughts and feelings on things. whether rarely or often, you run into someone else who is similar to you in one way or another. your friends are your friends simply because they can relate to you in most ways that others can not, or you just enjoy their company. with that being said, i'd like to state that i am my own indvidual person who is unaffected by others views on the world and i stay true to myself, which as i have realized most of you are as well (which is why i feel comfortable here). i respect you, and you respect me, as most friendships should be.
but what happens when you are living your life, doing what you can to survive, and just being yourself...and then suddenly, there is another person who is now exactly like you, or at least THINKS she is?
in my specific case, there happens to be this girl, who when we met, annoyed the living piss out of me, with quite possibly the worst personality ever (i am not the only one who feels this way, by far). not only did she make me want to leave the area just to get away from her (or put a bullet in my brain), she and i had absolutely nothing in common. she just happened to be there because she is dating a good friend of mine. and she is still ALWAYS there. this is not the worst part.
she has now transformed into what i like to call "psuedo fuzz". over the past few months, she has rapidly changed into a parrallel-universe image of myself. before i go any further, let me explain this concept better:
1) her wardrobe now consists of what you may find in MY closet. i'm not a trendsetter. i wear your basic black band t-shirts, and jeans or cargo pants. this once-preppy chick now goes out of her way to shop at the same army/navy and discount stores i go to to get my clothes. she does not leave me alone until i tell her exactly where i got an article of clothing and how to get there. not even a week later, i see her wearing the exact same thing i'm wearing.
2) music tastes vary among most people. i have a lot of friends who do not listen to anything i listen to. they are my friends because i get along with them. sure, i have some friends that are into SOME of the same bands as i am, but never ALL of the bands i listen to. before i loaned my ipod to this girl, she listened to every form of music i can honestly say i despise (which is most of the stuff you'd find on mtv from the mid 90's to today), but she deffinitely never listened to metal in her life, in fact, i know she didn't like it and still doesn't. not even a month later she is calling herself the biggest bodom fan on the planet, butchering the names of the band members and not knowing the title to a single song or album. she insisted on going to a bodom show with us, it being her first metal show ever. not even halfway through the show, she wanted to go home. she clearly hated the music and the atmosphere. she enraged me so much for making me miss half of the show (by calling me and yelling at me to leave every 2 minutes), and for getting me kicked out of backstage because my cellphone kept going off, that i abosultely lost it on some random guy who said something nasty to me. in any case, even after that night, she still claims that bodom is her favorite band in the world, and that she tells other people about how awsome they are all of the time. what she doesn't realize is how ignorant she sounds when she STILL doesn't know anything more than just the title of the band: "children of bodom", and proceeds to call herself "the biggest fan in nj".
3) this is quite possibly the most ludicris of all of my points. i have become quite ill over the past few months, finally rendering me to remain in my house on doctor's orders for the next few months-year (depending on my progress). my illness gives me many different setbacks such as severe back problems and crippling pain in various parts of my body (to say the least). and as you probably already have guessed, this girl is now "magicially" just as sick as i am, with the exact same thing. we all know it's false. especially considering, i don't have just one illness, but many. so when she says her symptoms are the same as mine, and she knows what i'm going through, again, she makes herself look completely rediculous. what bothers me more is that she always "in more pain" than me. I CAN NOT LEAVE MY HOUSE. i can barely sleep because of the amount of pain i experience constantly. i have not left my bed for the past 3 weeks. she goes out every day for most of the day and claims that she is worse off than me, health-wise. not only does she make these claims to me, she does to everyone else, getting sympathy from people she does not deserve. i on the other hand, do not need sympathy. i just ask my friends to visit, seeing as how i can't leave. i don't discuss how shitty i feel when i have company. it's not "cool". it's not "awsome". and i would trade anything to get my health back and to breathe fresh outside-air again.
now you understand the position i'm in, and the true dilemma i'm facing. she's a nice girl. but this is getting to be a little bit too much. i don't know how much more i can handle. and i just don't want to lose my friendship with the person she's dating because he is, in fact, my best friend, and i need him, just as he needs me.
i only fear that my lack of anger management is soon to snap and i am going to completely lay into her. if anyone has any advice, it is appreciated, because, honestly, i can't do this anymore.