Rock My Monkey Writer Auditions Are On Now!

So a few people have mentioned that they would like to write for RockMyMonkey.com recently. We need writers like a runway model needs a good sandwich! You know? We can deny it all we want, but there is no way we can even preview all the music that is sent to us to review. Seriously, there is a program I can open that would download all the latest releases from several of the biggest Metal record companies. I am always in fear of opening it because I know I just do not have the time. This is how buried we are. So like that runway model who collapses on the catwalk and ends up a laughing stock who has pissed off a bunch of her former contacts, we will now cry for help.

So here is the deal. Most people think they can write, but when handed the challenge they find out they just can't think of music in the right way to do reviews. So we are going to ride the coat tails of two full album streams and point you to their newest releases. The latest releases from Orange Goblin and Earth are linked below and are ready for you to stream away as much as you need. You have until the end of this week!

CLICK HERE to start listening to the new Orange Goblin.

CLICK HERE to start listening to the new release by Earth

Review either one. Review both. It is your choice.

The rules:

1. You must have three paragraphs that are a minimum of 3 sentences each. This should add up to a few hundred words at least.
2. You must read your review out loud to yourself before sending. Seriously. No one believes me on this but you will catch 99% of your mistakes if you do this. If you do not do this you will sound like a total retard. Reading your review out loud to yourself will make the difference between an amazing review and you sounding like a complete moron.
3. Send your review to post.rockmymonkey.cdreviews@squarespace.com

a. Subject line is your headline so "CD REVIEW: Orange Goblin Eulogy for the Damned" will probably be fine if you are reviewing the Orange Goblin release for example. Don't get too fancy with this part

b. Find a large version of the cd artwork on Google image search and attach it to the email. 675 width is best but it doesn't have to be exact. Or just steal covers from HERE or HERE.

c. DO NOT include anything in the email that is not part of the review.

4. End the review with your name, pen name, or some sort of credit so we know who wrote it.

The email above posts your review immediately to the site. Don't stress. It posts it as a "draft" so we can then see if you followed the directions. If you followed the directions above we just hit one button and it is live to the site. If you didn't follow the directions we have to hit "remove" and it goes bye bye.

If your review gets posted, please register to the site so we can connect the review to your account. From then on your reviews will be posted using the actual website form. You will also get sent digital copies of promos. You will be an official writer of Rock My Monkey. Good luck. We do really hope you make it! We need some serious help here.

CLICK HERE to start listening to the new Orange Goblin.

CLICK HERE to start listening to the new release by Earth

Review either one. Review both. It is your choice.