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 Writers Needed...again. June 23rd 2006 06/23/06 Before I talk about the need for writers, I want to talk about our automated link page. I always end my rant column with something to promote everyone to get involved with the bands we link to there. Last week I had someone claim a band was cheating. So I made an open challenge to everyone to find a band that was indeed cheating and send me solid proof. This challenge is still open. If you are able to prove a band is cheating, I will give the band of your choice one thousand extra points. Now I never said anything like the fifth band down on last Tuesday (the chart changes by the second), but there was a band that did get offended. So I will tell you what I basically told them. This challenge is open to every band on the chart and every person on the internet that knows about our site to collect on. It is not directed to anyone specific band. If you get your feelings hurt by this challenge, you need to grow thicker skin if you are going to survive in this business. We sincerely love having every band take part in this link trade, but please understand it is automated for a reason. We do not have time to add, subtract, adjust, or modify, anything on it. There is just too many bands we work with (see number of bands on link page). So all is fair in love and war. Everyone watch everyone else. If anybody gets their panties in a bunch please keep it to yourself because you are being silly and I have better things to do with my time. So Dark Lord didn’t make the cut as a writer. This is to show you what a picky bastard I am going to start being about what writers I allow on this site. The question is, am I really being all that picky? All I want is someone who can give a detailed and entertaining review in a timely manner. Is that too much to ask? So here is where we stand as far as writers go now. Linda still has enough issues to put up with us for some strange reason (psycho), deathboy is still fighting health issues. Thomas Dolby says Gore Whore blinded him with science, but Gore Whore would never do that. Wednesdays and Thursdays are both as vacant as my brain after a long Thursday getting all of my stuff ready. I hold on to my Fridays like a cubicle slave that is too paranoid to use vacation they are always in jeopardy of losing (this is not directed at my wife because that would be wrong and her wrath would be deadly). So we need two writers as soon as we can drug them into thinking this shit is fun. Think you have what it takes? Well, you all know what a lazy bastard I am. So instead of writing a whole new set of detailed directions, I am just going to paste the ones I made before and then update them to make the challenge even more accurate to what this site needs. Each time these directions will become more detailed. Pay attention because part of why most people fail is because they can’t follow directions. Think you have what it takes to make it through my little writer’s boot camp? Make a post on the board. Call it something like “I want to be a writer”, but add your own imagination to make the subject title unique. Then post two quality reviews in that thread. If you email me these first two reviews, I will just hit delete because you are stupid and can’t follow directions. Both CD's should have been released well within the last ten months. The first one should be one you fucking love. The second one should be for a release you hate. Both should be quality reviews explaining what you like and dislike about both releases. Both reviews must be between 450 and 500 words. Any less and I promise you are missing some detail. Any more and you need to cut the fat and stop rambling. Who do you think you are anyways…ME? No matter how much you hate a cd, there will be some good points. No matter how much you love a cd, there will be things you think could make it better. Three full and detailed paragraphs on both. You will be judged on style, quality of information, and entertainment value. Both should be releases from a known label from known bands. It doesn’t have to be some top 20 bullshit. Just not your buddies’ band that has a garage demo posted on their MySpace. If it is available on Amazon it is big enough for me. Now we need writers soon. We are in the middle of Summer and I am getting sent promos so fast it forms a river that flows right from my front door into my office. So email some friends, MySpace this thing, Post it on other bulletin boards, scream it from the pit at a show. Just get me some damn writers who can write and meet deadlines! PS-Vote for a band near the bottom and then post thier link on their forum to let them know! Click here because underdogs RULE!
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