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![]() July 21st 2006 07/21/06 So I despise reality shows as a rule, but stick some 80’s rock stars in there and I get this sucker tattoo that magically comes up on my forehead and starts pussing like crazy. Damn you VH1! Damn you to heck, I say! Now VH1 has really had a great success with this simple formula. They have had a few really good ratings boosters because of their “Celebreality”. Combine that with the vapid American Idol and you get an all points bulletin to all networks heads. “WE NEED OUR OWN AMERICAN IDOL NOW”. So all the major networks now have their version. There is America’s Got Talent (just not on this show), The One (That sucks), Rockstar: Supernova (doesn’t check to see if there is another band with the same name), and So You Think You Can Dance (and become famous for it) are all currently running. Almost everyone of those run on the same days, too. As you can tell, these shows cling to originality like Ashlee Simpson clings to integrity. Even the one I am hooked on is a horrid mess. The band keeps asking for these people to show them some dangerous rock attitude, but the clueless producers keep giving them ballads from bands like Stone Temple Pilots & Coldplay! What the fuck are they drinking, and why won’t they share? When they did this show the first time you got to at least hear the singers try their hand at songs from the fucking band. So why not give them a chance at songs from Guns And Roses, Metallica, & Motley Crue? I want to hear that Australian guy pull off “Welcome To The Jungle”. I want to see Dana break out in tears when she fails miserably at trying to do “The Thing That Should Not Be”. I want to watch Storm Large try to grit it up on the song “Wildside”. Enough of this Franz Ferdinand bullshit already! Watch the body language of Jason, Tommy, & Gilby. It is clear they hate these stupid pop tunes and ballads. They rip these people up and down for bad song selection, but yet the producers give them no other choice. Can you say lack of communication? It is clear the producers do not give two fucks about creating good music. They are doing everything they can to make sure this band blows ass. This is why VH1 kicks their ass and this is why the ratings of this show are getting so damn low so quick. So is there enough talent in this country to make shows like this work? No. The main reason is that major networks are totally clueless when it comes to real music. American Idol does great because it isn’t about anything artistic. It is about what I call the professional karaoke type singers. They can find the next second rate Britney Spears, Celine Dion, Ricky Martin, or Leif Garret. Those are basically professional karaoke singers. Anyone who gets a career out of a reality show of course will never get the sales of these people, but a few might get to pretend for a decade or so. So what if we take real bands and make them the focus? Real bands don’t make it that way. Battle For Ozzfest had the best situation a band could ask for. Look what happened to A Dozen Furries though. They got a contract, decent push, and a spot on the biggest tour of every summer, and still had to break up less then one year after they played that coveted spot. Now of course it can be said that the reason that failed was because it was fixed since an Ozzfest alumni won a contest for new talent. Of course that gives me my final thought. The reason that this shit doesn’t work is because the people who run these shows have as much integrity as Ashlee Simpson has talent or originality. PS-Let's see if we can make it so no band in the top 50 has less then 5 points click here and start voting! PPS-We still need writers. Make a post on the board if you are interested.
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